How to Let Go of the Perfect Session in Therapy

How to Let Go of the Perfect Session in Therapy

Rethinking progress, pressure, and what actually helps clients move forward

Many clinicians carry an unspoken idea of what a good session should look like.

It is often organised, emotionally coherent, and purposeful. Insight is reached. Something shifts. The session feels productive, and we leave with a sense that the time was well used.

When sessions do not unfold this way, it can quietly unsettle us.

I was reminded of this recently while sitting with an early-career clinician in supervision. She had added an item to the agenda that read, what to do when it feels like there is nothing left to add.

Curious, I asked her to tell me more.

As we talked, it became clear that this could mean very different things. Sometimes it refers to clients who are ready to be discharged, who feel confident continuing their mental health journey independently. Other times, it speaks to something else entirely. A sense that the clinician has run out of strategies, tools, or tasks to offer.

For her, it was the latter.

We explored this gently. I asked her a simple question. If there is no need for another tool, resource, or task, why do we need one?

She paused, looking genuinely perplexed, and then sat back.

“I just feel like I need to give my clients more,” she said.

I asked her why.

After another pause, she admitted she did not really know. She spoke about a pressure to add more, to be better, to support faster progress. A pressure many clinicians recognise but rarely name.

I smiled and told her she was not alone. That many of us carry this belief, especially earlier in our careers. And that sometimes, more is not better. In fact, often this is the case.

Progress does not always come from adding. It often comes from meeting the person where they are. That might mean offering strategies and tools when they are needed. It might also mean sitting quietly as someone explores their emotions, debriefs a difficult experience, or reflects on how far they have come.

As we spoke, I could see her shoulders soften. It was one of those moments many of us experience in supervision, or in our own work. The realisation that we do not need to be perfect. That we are not robots. That we do not need to work toward a curated or meticulous session plan.

What we need instead is the ability to adapt, adjust, and respond to what is actually happening in the room.

The idea of the perfect session is often driven by performance. By a sense that we need to demonstrate value, movement, or competence within a contained hour. But therapy rarely unfolds according to those expectations.

Some of the most meaningful work does not feel particularly satisfying in the moment. It can feel repetitive, slow, or unremarkable. And yet, it is often in these sessions that trust is built, safety is strengthened, and change becomes possible over time.

Letting go of the myth of the perfect session does not mean lowering standards. It means widening our understanding of what therapeutic work actually looks like in practice.

 

To Sit With This Week

  • Notice what you use to judge whether a session was “good” or “bad,” and where those standards came from.

  • Reflect on moments where the urge to add more arises, and what you imagine would happen if you did not.

  • Ask yourself whether the work in front of you calls for intervention or for presence.

  • Pay attention to the quieter markers of progress, such as safety, trust, and continuity.

  • Gently remind yourself that adapting to the moment is often more valuable than following a plan.

 

Thank you for sitting with me in the clinical space this week.

 

Warmly,

Psychologist and Principal, My Thriving Mind

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