After a Breakup or Separation

93-page fillable PDF workbook, instant download

The end of a relationship can bring grief, relief, guilt and doubt all at once, along with practical changes to your home, money, friendships and sometimes your children's lives. When the relationship was controlling or unhealthy, it can also be hard to trust your own memory of what happened. This workbook helps you make sense of the relationship, manage the time after it ends, and get back in touch with who you are.

It has 12 chapters and 32 worksheets. Each chapter explains one part of a relationship ending in everyday language, then gives you worksheets to apply it to your own life. The exercises draw on cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), compassion-focused approaches and what we know about grief and loss.

What this breakup and separation workbook covers

The first chapters help you understand what happened. You look back at what the relationship was really like, learn the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships, and read about control, emotional abuse and gaslighting. There is also a chapter on why leaving is so hard, even when you know it is the right decision.

The middle chapters cover the ending itself. You map the losses that come with a breakup, set up a contact plan and prepare the words for messages you may need to send, and work out how to ride out the urge to check on or contact your ex.

The later chapters help with the self-blame and the "I should have seen it" thoughts, and look at the patterns underneath. The final chapters help you work out what you want in a relationship, get back in touch with yourself and the people who support you, and plan for staying well.

Who this workbook is for

Designed by a registered psychologist. This workbook is for adults who have separated or are in the process of separating, whether the relationship simply came to an end or was controlling or emotionally abusive. There is a chapter on contact for people who share children or property and cannot cut contact. No background in psychology is needed.

Psychologists, counsellors and other practitioners who support clients through separation can also give it to them as a structured program between sessions, with the clinician licence.

How to use this workbook

Start with the safety pages and the Where to Start page, then work through the chapters at a pace that suits you. Type your answers into the pages on a computer or tablet, or print the workbook and write by hand. If you see a psychologist, counsellor or doctor, you can bring completed pages to your sessions. The workbook includes a page on keeping it private, which is worth reading first if someone else has access to your devices.

Choose the personal licence for your own use. The clinician licence lets one practitioner print and give copies to their own clients, individually or in groups they run.

What you receive

• A complete 93-page workbook with 12 chapters and 32 worksheets
• Two fillable PDF files, one in US Letter and one in A4
• Pages you can type into, or print in full or one at a time
• A greyscale design that prints well at home
• Pages on when to seek more support, your safety when a relationship ends and keeping the workbook private, with crisis lines and family violence services for Australia, the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom and Ireland

This workbook is an educational self-help resource, and it does not replace individual assessment, treatment, or advice from a family violence service or a lawyer. If you are still living with someone you are afraid of, please contact a family violence service before using it.

If you have any questions before or after purchasing, please contact us through our contact page.

Your files are available straight after purchase, on the checkout page and through a download link sent to your email. You receive two fillable PDFs, one in US Letter and one in A4.